New Starts

I love food.

Always have.

I love sports.

Always have.

I love my family.

Always have.

I love who God made me to be.

This one has sometimes been a struggle for me.

Adolescence was no picnic, particularly the transition between middle and high school.  Back then, I sported curly permed hair and a Vidal Sassoon wave.  I wore plastic-rimmed glasses that had a slight tint of blue and red.  I had blackheads spotting my nose and braces that decorated my smile for five years.

I was gawky.

I looked at the other girls on my soccer team with grins clear of metal and perfect eyesight and wanted to be like them.  I looked at the other girls at school wearing their Courntey Love-inspired mini skirts and combat boots and wanted to be like them.

I was floundering, not knowing where I fit in, if I fit in, if I could ever fit in.

So add this apprehension, this uncomfortable and uneasy feeling of not knowing WHO I truly was to a perfectionistic personality…throw my unsure self into an educational environment where EVERYONE was great, grand achievers…and then add into the mix my mother’s surprising diagnosis of stage 3 ovarian cancer…it was the perfect storm for me to develop an eating disorder.

And so for the next few years of my lift, during adolescence and into young adulthood, I floundered in and out of inpatient and outpatient treatments for anorexia.  It’s a tale many already know about me, yet what most may not recognize is that I always had this feeling that God was going to redeem those years of my life in some way for His glory.  I’m still not quite entirely sure what that redemption looks like, but what I do know is that as I seek Him and His plan for my life, with patience by my side, I know that He WILL reveal His will.

The first step towards all of THIS, me discovering more about what He would want for me, is to write.  Blog.  Share.  Hypothesize.  Relate.

So, here I am.  I am going to put down ideas and thoughts and data here more regularly.  I’m going to (try) to get scientific.  I’m going to be transparent and real and open.  I’m going to move towards the calling God would have for me.

So get ready, guys.  Here I go…

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